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111215-Half Dead or Half Alive
CCC RIGHT NOW opened memo on board LOPAP. CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG RIGHT NOW responded to memo. -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG had woken from his nap at the table with what seemed like a new lease on life -- -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC is back in his usual spot on the floor, typing away on his husktop -- -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG looks over to Nyarla... -- CGG: How. Are. You. Still. Feeling. Over. Everything? CCC: Okay, I guess CGG: You. Are. Not. Still. Fatalistic? CGG: As. Mr. Milo. Stated? CCC: We're all gonna die CGG: Perhaps. CCC: At least, some of us will CCC: Judging by things, I mite die again CCC: Might, I mean CGG: It. Is. Entirely. Possible. CGG: You. Are. Not. Being. Quite. You. Afterall. CGG: Miss. Aaisha. Was. Having. Trouble. Being. Herself. As. Well.... And. I. Think. I. Realized. I. Was. Not. Quite. Myself. Either.... CCC: Of course I'm not me CCC: I'm dead CGG: No. You. Are. Half. Dead. CCC: Yeah, I'm not used to death jokes CGG: I. Do. Not. Joke. CCC: Right, I guess I'd better make the jokes meet their end -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC he gave a wry chuckle -- CCC: I did talk to Aaisha though CGG: How. Did. She. Seem? CCC: She seemed...not too well CCC: At least, at first CCC: I was able to raise her spirits I think CGG: I. Hoped. By. Own. Talk. Did. So. As. Well.... CGG: When. She. Started. She. Said. She. Was. Not. To. Be. Called. Miss. Aaisha. At. First.... And. That. She. Did. Not. Deserve. Any. Of. Us.... CCC: She may have blamed herself a bit CGG: A. Bit. More. Than. A. Bit.... CCC: Then you may have gotten through to her CCC: I tried to give her some reassurance CGG: I. Do. Hope.... I. Felt. Though. That. I. Had. Gotten. Through. To. Myself. More. Than. Her. Though.... CCC: Eh CCC: Well I think I managed to brighten her spirits a bit CGG: I. Would. Hope. That. Would. Be. The. Case. With. You. Being. Her. Matesprit. CCC: ...yeah CGG: She. Needs. That. Relationship. More. Than. Ever. Now.... CCC: I'll be there for her CCC: As best I can CCC: Though we do know where her heart lies CGG: ....Mr. Aesona. Her. Feelings. For. Me. Should. Not. Factor. Into. Things.... CGG: Not. For. You. CGG: You. Are. The. One. Who. Can. Return. Her. Feelings. CGG: I. Can. Only. Be. Pale. For. Her.... Perhaps. In. Futility. CCC: ... CCC: As best I can CGG: I. Suppose.... Is. Everything. Alright? CCC: Things are okay CGG: That. Is. Good.... Relationships. Are. No. Doubt. Going. To. Be. Trials. In. Themselves. In. The. Coming. Days. CCC: Relationships hold way too much weight over us all CGG: I. Do. Not. Think. They. Are. Necessarily. A. Weight.... CGG: Each. One. Instead. Expands. Who. We. Are.... Balances. Us. In. Ways. We. Do. Not. Always. See. CCC: And have contributed the most chaos to our group CCC: Why do you think they're prefered by Scarlet? CCC: She's a companion CCC: They're what she does CCC: Even without her influence, romance has been wrecking me CGG: What. She. Does. Is. Hardly. A. Relationship. CGG: There. Is. No. Balance. CCC: Relationships don't always ahve balance CCC: Healthy ones, sure CCC: But it's probably rare to have serendipity CCC: In any quadrant CGG: .... CCC: And that's not even to go on about what happens in the unhealthy ones that are oh so common CGG: This. Can. Be. Unfortunately. True.... CGG: I. Suppose. I. Should. Not. Speak. Much. On. Quadrants.... I. Only. Have. Been. Flush. For. Days. Pale. For. 2. Sweeps. But. Little. For. The. Other. Remaining. Quadrants. CGG: Though. Miss. Fenrix.... Nevermind..... -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG looks rather sheepish about that -- CCC: Yeah, she knows quadrants CCC: But quadrants and relationships aren't necessarily the same things CGG: It. Feels. Like. She. Knows. A. Bit. Of. Both. To. Me.... CGG: But. I. Will. Keep. Off. The. Subject. Of. Miss. Fenrix. If. There. Is. An. Issue. CCC: I am ignorant of quadrants CCC: But I know relationships CCC: I was a networker CCC: A businesstroll cannot survive without good relations CGG: But. That. Is. No. Longer. Who. You. See. Yourself. As. CCC: And you don't have tobeat around the bush about Lorrea CCC: I know she's livid with me CCC: Not even a concern right now CCC: No longer playing up to the Courtier mantle does not mean I've simply forgotten all of that CGG: No. But. Like. How. Miss. Aaisha. Seemed. Uncertain. Of. Who. She. Is. You. Are. Also. Uncertain. Of. Who. You. Are.... You. Need. To. Find. What. It. Is. That. Makes. You.... You. CCC: ... -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC he shrugs -- CCC: I'm me CCC: It's as simple as that at this point CGG: Yes. But. What. Does. That. Mean? CGG: I. Thought. Myself. To. Be. A. Guard. But. I. Have. Failed. That. Duty.... CCC: I'm Nyarla Aesona CCC: The Courtier is dead CCC: The Vanguard, too CGG: I. Have. Thought. Myself. To. Be. A. Prince. Of. Rage.... But. I. Can. Not. Compete. In. That. Regards. CCC: I don't even know what Mage means CGG: And. I. Am. Certainly. Not. The. Moirail. Of. Miss. Aaisha. Anymore. Either.... CCC: I don't even know what all Time is capable of CGG: So. Then.... What. Is. Left. When. You. Are. Stripped. Of. Your. Titles.... What. Is. Your. Identity? CGG: What. Will. Your. Name. Mean? CGG: If. You. Are. To. Die. Like. You. Think. And. Some. Troll. Put. Up. An. Epitaph. With. Your. Name. Would. Anyone. Know. It. To. Be. You? CCC: Yes CCC: I'd probably die like a chump CCC: Everyone already recognizes me as one CCC: So yeah, they'd know it was me CGG: You. Are. Letting. Youself. Be. Defined. By. A. Falsehood. Right. There. CCC: I don't tell as many lies as I used to CCC: That's not one CGG: It. Is. Indeed. A. Lie.... You. Are. No. Chump. CGG: We. Went. Out. Of. Depths. CGG: And. We. May. Die. CCC: Again CGG: But. I. Have. No. Intention. Of. Letting. My. Enemies. Define. My. Name. CCC: It's not Vigil that I'm daunted by CCC: He's a god CGG: Then. What. Is. Daunting. You? CCC: That fact I lasted as long as I did should be an ego boost if anything CCC: I'm not daunted CCC: By anything CCC: I'm already half dead CGG: Then. It. Is. Death. Itself. Daunting. You. CCC: No CCC: Dying wasn't so bad CCC: Well, dying sucked CCC: Especially how it happened CGG: I. Was. About. To. Say. CCC: But death is fine CCC: It was chill CCC: Libby makes for good company CGG: Yes.... S....She. Does.... CCC: Horrorterrors in the background, not so much -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG blushes at the thought of libby -- -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC throws a mildly perplexed glance his way -- CGG: ...What? She. Is. Indeed. Good. Company. Like. You. Said.... -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG blushes a bit more -- CCC: ...I bet she is CGG: Moving. Along.... -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC there's a note of amusement in his voice -- CCC: Yeah, anyway CCC: What'll be said at your own eulogy? CGG: I. Do. Not. Yet. Know.... I. Am. Still. Trying. To. Define. Myself. Anew..... CGG: Like. You. I. Know. I. Am. Serios. Calier. CGG: But. I. Will. Not. Let. It. Be. Settled. By. My. Failures. CGG: I. Am. The. One. Who. Defines. Me. CGG: My. Choices. CCC: If only we were all so lucky CCC: I haven't gotten that luxury yet CGG: You. Do. Not. Believe. You. Define. Youself? CCC: Look at all I've done since entry CCC: What have I done? CGG: Mr. Aesona. Might. I. Remind. You. My. List. Of. Actions? CCC: You do not want a pissing contest of fuck ups with me CGG ceased responding to memo. CCC: Instead of naming what I've done wrong, to save time, name what I've done right CCC: Just since entry CCC: Anything CGG: You. Have. Tried. To. Keep. People. Safe. CCC: And has that actually succeeded? CGG: You. Have. Kept. Though. With. All. The. Right. Intentions. CCC: the road to hell is paved with good intentions, remember? CCC: I'd be in horror terror hell if Libby hadn't dragged me out CCC: Literally CGG: But. That. Was. Not. Your. Fault. In. Of. Itself.... We. All. Played. A. Part. That. Led. To. What. Happened. CCC: Aside from that itself CCC: What have I ever been successful at here? CCC: Gray area and good intentions don't count CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG RIGHT NOW responded to memo. -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG continues feeding his pets upstairs, here y'konw lil ones grains and greens and ocassional meats, whatever you need -- CGG: .... CCC: Exactly CCC: I did Jack shit CCC: Only to get mindfucked and slaughtered CCC: And now I'm back here for round two CGG: And. You. Are. Just. Going. To. Accept. It? CCC: No CCC: If only because I promised to try CGG: Then. Why. Dwell. On. It. Further. Beyond. Using. It. All. To. Learn? CGG: We. Should. Count. Ourselves. Fortunate. In. Some. Fashion. CCC: What do I have to learn from? CCC: That I'm particularly susceptible to mind control and bad decisions CGG: Well. For. One. Thing. We. Learn. To. Not. Say. Certain. Things. When. We. Are. Bugged.... CGG: And. Even. Knowing. We. Make. Bad. Decisions. Is. Important.... It. Helps. Us. To. Later. See. The. Good. Ones. CCC: That's not a lesson learned CCC: That's a stupid fuck up that got the two of us killed CGG: Half. Killed. CCC: All the same to me CCC: Still dead CGG: Not. To. Me. Anymore.... We. Have. A. Chance. That. No. Other. Troll. In. History. Has.... We. Can. Either. Lament. It. Or. Accept. It. And. Learn. CGG: And. There. Is. Always. Something. To. Learn. CGG: Even. If. Its. "Fuck. Ups." CCC: To live doesn't mean we're alive -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG drops down to the first floor, forgoing the prefectly functioning ladder. -- CGG: Actually that's E X A C T L Y what it means. CCC: No CCC: It's not the literal interpretation CCC: Does no one know what "expression" means CGG: ....I. Do. But. I. Think. You. Were. Being. Indirect. Again.... CGG: Mr. Aesona you keep using that term and I'm not entirely sure you know what it means. -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC facepalm -- CGG: You died, yes, but here you are still. Breathing. Living. You have an opportunity few recieve! CGG: Learning from your own death isn't something most can do. CCC: Do we really need to debate definitions? CCC: I get we're from different cultures, but come on CCC: I died, am still officialy dead. I live, but I have not enthusiasm for it nor liveliness of any sort CCC: Double meanings are a thing CGG: Semantics don't really matter, no. But your indirectness belies the point. CCC: It's hardly indirect if you thought on my words CCC: If you thought on the words themselves the phrase is perfectly straightforward CCC: It wasn't even complex -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG holds his chin. -- CGG: Why the turn of phrase? CCC: Because you are my least favorite human -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC he just, sighs -- CGG: .... CGG: You're hardly a peach to deal with yourself, Nyarla. CGG: But that's what I've signed on for. And you A R E my teammate. CCC: Yes yes, I know this CCC: Teamwork and synergy and etcetera -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG is just covering his face with his hands... -- CCC: We'll work our way around to amicable later CGG: Presumably. But this isn't about our relationship, this is about how Y O U ' R E doing. CGG: And what you're going to do. CCC: Oh is it? CCC: And just what are those things? CCC: I'll have you know, I'm fine CCC: I plan to go through the motions til we either die or win by some miracle CGG: .... CGG: ... CCC: We have a job to do, I can at least do that, for your sakes CCC: Don't expect me to be at all optimistic about it CGG: I. Would. Not. Expect. To. Place. That. As. A. Duty. Upon. You. CCC: Until we have something to show for our hard work at the minimal cost of lives, my optimism is dead as I am CGG: .... CGG: No one expects you to bounce back from this chipper and fresh for a fight... CGG: But I accept your challenge. CCC: My challenge? CGG: I. Am. Confused.... What. Challenge? CCC: The challenge to make progress, probably CGG: If you've lost hope I'll show you where it lies down the road. CCC: No help needed CCC: We don't survive on hope -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG grins. -- CGG: I'll show you that we C A N turn a win. -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC straight faced -- CGG: Each and every O N E of us. -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC poker world champion right here -- CCC: Prove it -- CURRENT gallavantingGuardsman CGG looks at Milo hoping he has a good answer -- CGG: Just W A T C H A N D S E E . We've got E V E R Y T H I N G we need, the only thing left if to strike out and S E I Z E it! CCC: ... CCC: Gonna need more than vague hopes here CCC: What do you even think we "need" and what makes you so sure we have it? -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG gestures widely -- CCC: What do you think you're "seizing"? CGG: .... CGG: We. Are. Seizing. Your. House? CCC: It's not the house CGG: This planet. M Y planet. The challenges it presents, and the knowledge their surmounting will grant. That, and the power. CCC: Glad you can be optimistic about it CCC: Now go out and breed those frogs CCC: That's your ticket to power, isn't it? CCC: Unless you've finally prototyped CCC: And gotten substantial instruction CGG: ...I'd been holding off on prototyping again for Lorey's sake. CGG: Caught in a cycle of self-doubt and fear. CCC: ... CGG: .... CGG: But those things don't suit me. Tomorrow, O N C E and for all. I'm throwing something in and getting a clue on how this all comes together. CCC: We could have made headway by now CCC: Just saying CGG: Yes. CGG: I've made mistakes too, Mr. Aesona. CCC: Not even a mistake CGG: You. May. Not. Want. To. Go. Down. That. Road... CCC: Just inaction -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG turns to tGG -- CGG: Hm? CGG: I. Mean. It. Was. Subjects. That. Were. Already. Brought. Up. With. Sufficient. Points. Made.... CGG: Mr. Milo. I. Am. Certain. Many. Can. Appreciate. What. You. Are. Trying. To. Do. For. Mr. Aesona.... But. You. Are. Lacking. In.... Substance. For. The. Moment.... CGG: Which. Seems. To. Be. Mr. Aesona'S. Direct. Point. CCC: Thank you, Serios CCC: Even before my date with fate, I was very rarely encourage by vaguely grasping at the possibility of success CCC: Hope doesn't nor has it ever done it for me CCC: You get out what you put in CCC: I put in what I thought was my all CCC: And I lost it all CCC: Or half of it, rather, but you get my meaning -- CURRENT galvinizedGlobalization CGG nods. -- CGG: All the more reason I'm not going to try and rush a desired emotional outcome out of you. I'm not trying to get you to immediately spring back from this, I'm not so callous or ignorant as to expect as much. CGG: All I ask is you watch. And lend me your aid when it's needed, but you had already determined to that, no? CCC: Yes CGG: I. Suppose. It. Would. Not. Hurt. To. See. What. Mr. Milo. Intends. To. Show. Us. Tomorrow.... -- CURRENT cascadingCourtier CCC he shrugs -- CCC: A sprite means we'll finally have an ida of how to progress CCC: So yeah, I guess I can accept that CCC: And I'll have an answer for you, later CCC: About who I am CCC: Once I finally find out CGG: I. Am. Certain. You. Will. Find. It. Mr. Aesona. CCC: Provided thaat person doesn't run into Vigil again first CCC: But uhh, thanks CGG: Lets do our best to keep that from happening, hm? CGG: Let. Us. Just. Avoid. Certain. Subjects. For. The. Time. Being.... CCC: ...Yeah CCC: I plan to steer clear of all that anyway Category:Milo Category:Nyarla Category:Serios